Tag Archives: spirituality

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empath and narcissist

The Narcissist And The Empath

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I speak with a lot of empaths, sensitives and lightworkers during the course of my work and there is one thing that has stood out for me from these conversations. Empaths attract narcissists. I know as I have met my fair share in my time, but what I have learnt is how to deal with them and what they are all about.

So why do empaths attract narcissists? Well the empath is a healer and takes on the pain of others. They want to fix people and make everything right for them. The narcissist is generally wounded in some way and hence the attraction between the healer and the wounded. The narcissist is a master manipulator and will do whatever it takes to get everything their own way. The empath just cannot understand how people can act in a bad way towards others because they can feel what the other person would feel but they need to realise that other people are not like them. This took me a while to get my head around as I would often think to myself “how could he do this to me” when dealing with my narcissist in the past.

I learnt to think like a narcissist and play mind games. You have to be one step ahead and think “what would I do if I was a manipulative and nasty so and so”. You need to think what their next move might be so you can stop it before it happens. The narcissist wants to keep the empath as low as possible so that they can feel superior – they need external validation, so watching you suffer is actually enjoyable for them.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist and you are waiting for things to get better and for them to change, they won’t. The relationship just gets more and more destructive, mine became so destructive that police finally became involved. I think it is incredibly important for empaths to learn about the traits of narcissists so that they can learn to spot one quickly before getting too emotionally involved.

Having spent a number of years living with a narcissist and working for the police where I dealt with narcissistic personalities every day my radar is on and I can see through the facade so that I never make the same mistake again. Usually as empaths we get an intuitive feeling about someone but we often do not trust that first feeling. My advice is develop your intuitive muscle so that you never have to go through the pain of a narcissistic relationship.

If you would like to talk to me about this please sign up for one of my free sessions here http://sheilakadeer.com/work-with-me/ignite-your-light/


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heal your life

What Are Your Aches And Pains Telling You About Your Life?

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Do you ever wonder if your body is trying to tell you something? I remember picking up a book about 6 years ago written by Louise L Hay called Heal Your Body. She has catalogued a list of ailments and problems along with the probable cause and a new thought pattern to embrace to heal it.  It makes a lot of sense to me that what we think can directly affect our body. If we believe something on an unconscious level then it has to manifest on a physical level.

If for example you hold a deep seated belief that to earn money you have to work hard, then this will be your truth. You will have to work hard, money won’t flow easily, you will have to put in the hours because your unconscious mind will create the experiences that support this belief.

In Louise Hay’s book she says that dis-ease is the result of our mental thought patterns. We can have good thoughts that will create good experiences and also negative thoughts that create the illnesses. Her book all came flooding back to me this week when I developed an annoying pain in my bottom.  I remember the last time I had a pain in this area, I was unhappy in certain aspects of my life but was not getting off my butt to take any action.

I looked up this area in Louise Hay’s book and this is what I found.  Anger in relation to what you don’t want to release. This I can totally relate to.  Both times I have had this issue I have been angry. Now I can work on that to release it and hopefully my pain in the butt will disappear.

So I looked up some more of my ailments:

Lower back pain – fear of money, lack of financial support – Yep.

Having trouble with near vision – fear of the present – Yep.

Dizziness – Flighty, scattered thinking – Yep, I am all over the place at the moment.

So now I have identified these I can work on the mental thoughts I am having and reframe them to positive thoughts and hopefully recover from my ailments.

If you are having aches, pains or illnesses it may be time to look at the work of Louise Hay.


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empath

What Is An Empath?

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Have you ever wondered what an empath is and if in fact you are one?

You have probably heard the term banded about in spiritual circles along with sensitive, lightworker and earth angel. An empath can be all of those things too.

Being an empath means that you can pick up on other peoples energy and emotions and take it on as your own.  An empath can literally soak up another persons emotions and really feel what they are going through. They pick up on the energies of places and situations and can become overwhelmed in crowds.

Empaths have the ability to see through the bullshit and know where people are really coming from. They can tell if you are lying or being deceitful.

They often find people approaching them and telling them all of their most personal problems, it is like they recognise the empaths ability to listen. An empath would must rather listen to someone elses woes than open up themselves. They can appear quiet but underneath that is a person who wants to succeed in life but they do put others first, often neglecting their own needs. They can be found working with people, animals, nature with a passion for helping others.

You won’t find them watching that much TV or news as they detest violence and cruelty. They tend to be peacemakers always wanting to find that happy medium in any situation.

If they do not look after their energy they can burn out emotionally and energetically. This happened to me twice. I spent too much time ignoring my own need for downtime and R&R.

People, animals and children are naturally drawn to an empath, and feel immediately comfortable in their presence. Empaths can pick up aches and pains from other people and believe that it is their own when in fact it belongs to someone else.

It is so important that an empath has a good self care regime and gets enough quiet time, they need that solitude.

If you are an empath you will resonate with the majority of points below.

  1. Hate being in crowded places.
  2. Know things without being told, excellent intuition
  3. Feel the emotions of others, know when someone is thinking something bad about them
  4. Does not like watching or reading about violence
  5. Picks up others illnesses
  6. Can detect a liar easily
  7. Prone to lower back and digestive issues
  8. Helps those in need
  9. Complete strangers offload problems to them
  10. Love to be creative
  11. Loves nature
  12. Needs to be alone at times, can seem a little aloof, moody
  13. Unable to do what does not feel right for them, unlikely to do a job that they do not believe in
  14. Inquisitive and seeks personal development
  15. Daydreamer
  16. Clutter can freak them out
  17. Does not like to be controlled and follow the rules
  18. Fantastic listener
  19. Does not get on well with narcissists although attracts them easily
  20. Do not like to buy antiques or second hand items, likes things new
  21. Many are vegetarian or vegan as can feel the energy of food, especially meat

If you think you are an empath and would like to learn more about how you need to look after yourself, I will be happy to help you (yes I am an empath!)


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